tonight as i was laying in bed (yes, my bed) reading my favorite magazine real simple i had a thought. provoked by an article in the 'life lessons' section of the magazine about honesty. the article, 5 things worth admitting to had my mind racing. and i think i'm entering a bought of insomnia - perhaps brought on by the hospital stay - my mind welcomed the opportunity to think.
numbers 4 and 5 particularly struck me:
number 4: you're tired of hearing about it. SO true, yet no one ever tells you. i have a few friends that are constantly talking about the same thing, over and over and over. it would be nice to have a dinner out without talking about what we always talk about: being single. yes, being single isn't really that fun. and yes, it's more fun to go out when you are getting a boys attention. but is that all we have to talk about? let's talk about something of substance for once. like, the state of the union. okay - maybe not that deep or serious. but something, anything, would be better than dissecting the male mind for once.
i dislike being single as much as the next person (not true, one of my friends absolutely adores being single) but i think it makes it worse to talk about it. why is it that i can't say to my close friends that i don't want to hear about it anymore? i don't care what he said when he called you three days later! another of my girlfriends, one of my favorites, kb always lets me know when i'm going overboard. i'm so grateful that she feels comfortable enough with me to bbm me good, sound advice like: if he wants to see you, he'll see you. stop wasting energy on someone that won't spend energy on you. i'm done with this topic. now, let's talk about my crazy boss. short, sweet and to the point.
maybe that was a bad example. my point is, kb is the only person i know (besides family) that will straight up tell me she doesn't want to hear about it anymore. and i guess this article showed me that i'm also yearning for that trait. "life is too short to listen to people talk about the same problems over and over again." - real simple. i couldn't have said it better myself! weekly goal number 1: tell someone i'm tired of hearing about it. change it. and move on.
number 5: everything. "no one can fault you for talking about others indiscretions if you're the first to reveal those things about yourself." - real simple. it's so true and so honest. i am a people pleaser. i want everyone to like me. and that means sometimes i leave parts of who i am out of my relationship with people so that they won't have a bad opinion of me. even people i have known since elementary school, i can't tell them things that are screaming to get out of me, but it's easy for me to tell them that i like to drink whiskey cokes, that i thought i would be engaged by now and that ever since i was little i have wanted to wear glasses. i only let them see who i think they want to see. weekly goal number 2: tell them everything. (well not total strangers, i don't want to get put in the loony bin.)
the truth about why number 4 and 5 even exist? we are too afraid, as people, to hurt others. my mama always tells me that one of my greatest features is that i show my feelings. if i need to cry, i'll cry. if i'm mad, you're going to know it. i can't hide them. even if i try. but is it really okay that we don't share everything about ourselves because we are afraid of hurting others? that even with our closest friends, we are afraid to tell them we don't want to listen about the same problem over and over and over and over...again? i would much rather surround myself with people that are 100% their honest selves, that will tell me to shut up already if they think i need to, than people that are only showing me the part they want to know.
i think, chances are, their 100% being is greater than their 98%.
and with that world, i bid you, goodnight.
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