i heart apple.

so, i broke down this week and bought a new computer. i bought a beautiful apple imac and i'm already in love. it's probably been up and running about 5 minutes and i'm so happy that i did it. so i thought i would write an ode to apple about how absolutely fabulous it is...

for starters, i didn't have to totally set everything up all over again. because of the fabulous application time machine, it took what was saved on my external hard drive and set up everything - passwords, software, bookmarks - on my new computer exactly the way that i had it on my old laptop. how easy-peasy is that? in love that i didn't have to do anything and could sit on the couch eating pizza and come back to find it finished.

the screen. how beautiful, big screened and fabulous this guy is. i'm obsessed. it makes the screen at work (which i thought was big and was worried my new one wouldn't be big enough) look like small potatoes. i can't wait to get to work designing things on this new one with the amount of workspace i have.

the apple magic mouse. it's wireless and works similarly to the iphone. i love it. i think i might need one at work. ha!

it looks good in my black/silver/purple master bedroom. for now - until the roommate moves out and i can turn the house into my office. i can't wait for that to happen, but it also looks right at home. i'm sure it will look more at home when i get my new desk next week. but i'm digging it.

the sound. i immediately downloaded the pandora application and the sound is fabulous. tv off, music on!

i'm hoping that skype will be just as fabulous as pandora. can't wait to try it out with the sister later tonight.

have a great weekend! we are supposed to get snow here tomorrow (in fact, we are under a blizzard warning this weekend!) so i'm hoping my appointments will all get cancelled so i can stay cozy in my condo all weekend. i will have to venture out to get some more christmas lights to finish my tree. but other than that, i'm staying put if at all possible. (and playing with my newest apple obsession!)

*this post is in no way in conjunction with apple - it represents my opinions and i'm not getting paid to write it. although, if they need someone to write blogs about how wonderful their products are, i would totally be up for it...

christmas spirit.

tonight i put up my christmas tree. it's artificial and i must admit that i miss the christmas tree smell that comes with christmas trees. i might just have to buy a candle to get the feel. tomorrow i'm going to steal (with permission) some lights from my parents and then put the pretty ornaments i bought today on. i'm still looking for a perfect tree topper (let me know if you have any suggestions!) and a tree skirt. details, details, details!

i have been feeling a little wishy-washy about the holidays this year. somedays, i wake up thinking i want my whole house to feel like christmas and other days i wake up and think - who the **** cares? i don't know if its because i have been feeling extra sad and lonely and woe is me lately...but it isn't fun. even this morning i thought - why do i really need a christmas tree? it's just me (and i guess, a roommate that i barely know) in my cozy condo this year. i can get by with just visiting the trees at my grandparents and parents houses...but now that it's up and in the living room, i'm really glad that i have it and i think it may be just the thing to get me out of my funkified mood.

1:32

so, it's one o'clock in the morning. 1:30, central time, to be exact.

i can't sleep. i'm wide awake. my mind is going 100 miles an hour. here is what's on my mind:

1. i am so glad that i updgraded to pandora one! love unlimited music. love no ads.
2. my upstairs neighbor's mattress has gotten louder. and louder. it's like they can't stop. please! i just want to go to bed!
3. tomorrow i really need to go to target and buy vacuum filters and lowe's to by a filter for my furnace.
4. tomorrow i also need to finish my laundry. it's getting serious!
5. i am so excited to see my family in northern wisconsin next week. so excited. i think a little relaxation and rejuvenation is just what this girl needs.
6. tomorrow i also really need to clean.
7. i hope the hawkeyes can pull out another win in kinnick on saturday. this season hasn't quite been what we were all expecting...
8. i really miss my life from a year ago sometimes. missouri, my friends, my life. alliteration rocks!
9. a lot of people asked me if i'm dating anyone today. the answer remains no. i'm kind of giving up on finding someone. i don't think i've really figured out how to be single yet. and i don't think i'm ready to date, honestly. too much emotional crap is still twirling around my heart/brain/body.
10. i really love late night skype dates with the little sister. maybe staying up until 1:32 isn't so bad!
11. i had dinner tonight with two married couples. they make me want to get married. and not want to, all at the same time. conundrum!
12. actually, i pretty much spend a lot of time with married people. or people who are about to get married, at least. weird. (not exactly the best place to meet people, see #9.)
13. pandora might have been the best invention ever. pandora and red box. that's all i need in my life.
14. and popcorn. and pizza. and mexican food. in regards to the end of #13.
15. i could probably get some cleaning done, but making this list is a lot more fun!
16. yes, the neighbors are still making noise right above me.
17. today when i was talking with one of my best friends via fb chat (another thing that makes my life!) i told her that i'll be the only single lady at thanksgiving. i said it was weird. she told me it wasn't weird and that i could move in with her and her hubby if i'm still single when i'm 33. i'll be the nanny she doesn't need because she'll definitely be a stay at home mommy. thank goodness i have such great friends looking out for me!
18. i think i found the perfect boots at nordstroms. and i can't wait to get them next weekend!
19. some people do their best thinking in the shower - clearly, i do it late at night!
20. does anyone else think that pandora can read their mind? it always plays the exact right music for my mood!

it's now 1:52. i'm gonna try and sleep again. look for a happy weekend! post tomorrow!

no. 75 & happy weekend!

hello all! isn't it a wonderful feeling when you walk out the door of the office on a friday evening? i love it. even when i walk out into a cold, wet, feeling winter-y drizzle. all i could think about on my way home was making a fire (and by making, i mean flipping the switch) and drinking a glass of wine. my dinner is in the oven and i happily found pretty woman on tv.

my head has been swarming this week with all of the things that i would like to get accomplished this weekend. in case you haven't heard, i have a roommate moving in in december and if this month goes the way that october did, that means she'll be moving in before i know it! tomorrow i'll be babysitting my favorite one year old twins (i can't believe that they are one year old!) and then hanging out with a pretty cool 3 year old. so, that leaves my to do list one night to get accomplished! here are all of the things i'd like to get done:

• bake pumpkin muffins using my new stand mixer
• laundry
• clean kitchen and master bath
• switch over clothes - i think we can all officially say winter is on its way

of course, there is a lot more to be done before the roomie moves in (like getting my furniture out of her room and my clothes out of her closet!) but i'm settling for starting to get the main living areas and my room done first.

what are you doing this weekend?

p.s. this was my 75 entry...and i've had this blog for over a year. i think i should probably work on that. here's to 100 before turkey day!

{today i love: web-videos}

i've been having a pretty crummy day, so i thought i would share two videos that made me smile.

happy hump day!

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

Sarah & Kyle from sweetTea media on Vimeo.

obsessed.

it has been a long time since i posted something about wedding invitations. a loooong time. tonight i am obsessed with these.

i am in LOVE with the colors. i am OBSESSED with the font. i can't wait to go to work tomorrow and play with it. but my favorite part? the envelope liners...

SO CREATIVE. i am jealous i didn't think of this. the invitation envelope says "you're invited" and the response envelope says "RSVP".

and i love that the script is in all lower case. which, if you didn't know is my personal fave.

photos via oh so beautiful paper.

fall is in the air!

after a cold, rainy saturday followed by a chilly, sunny sunday i am pretty much positive that fall has come to iowa. which i personally love. i already have accepted it and am looking forward to yummy sweaters, boots and jeans. the problem? i am in desperate need of a new fall wardrobe.

i have been wanting my wardrobe to "grow up" (hello, big girl job for almost a year and i'm still wearing the jeans chef got me two years ago...) in the office as well as outside of work. i have a clear picture of what i want to look like in my head. it's basically this:

all i want to do is introduce a little more polish to my wardrobe.

i think i will start with this:

i am now accepting donations for the 'monica needs a new wardrobe' fund.

what are you going to wear this fall?

(all images from jcrew & gap)

dark and twisty.

i have nothing positive to say. i'm feeling a little dark and twisty tonight and i'm letting those emotions get the best of me. i had so many things to tell you! even my cheerful yellow walls aren't doing the trick tonight.

it is feeling very fallish around iowa city tonight. it is making me yearn for new clothes. a new wardrobe. a chance to start fresh. and a textbook.

tomorrow i will head to kinnick to watch my beloved hawkeyes take on ball state. let's hope that they win. pulverize them. break the other teams legs. and for goodness sake, stanzi STAY ON YOUR FEET!

happy weekend - and happy fall!

happy weekend!

ahhh, weekend. isn't it so nice when friday rolls around and you think about how you don't have to go to work in the morning, because its saturday? this is a new phenomena for me because this is my first free-saturday since the opening of the studio. (i am soooo not complaining though, because that means its wedding season - my favorite time of the year! it also means that i busy with work & have job security. double bonus!)

tomorrow is my first football game of the season. i am so excited to make the walk to kinnick with the fam. i love fall. i love football. and i especially love the hawkeyes. (followed closely by the tigers, of course!) but i am not going to talk about football and the weekend. (although, i will tell you that i am excited to eat a hot dog tomorrow. so excited. and i will also tell you that i am in desperate need of a new facebook picture of my stylin' new do. hopefully i can accomplish both of these goals tomorrow!)

aside from watching the hawkeyes show the cyclones how real football is played, i have a few other goals:

• go grocery shopping (we're down to the bare minimums at the condo)
• paint my nails (i'm giving in and going dark. welcome, fall!)
• laundry. ugh-a-bug. i hate putting away laundry. i don't mind the sorting, washing, folding. but i HATE putting it away. isn't that strange? there is currently a nicely folded stack of my clothes on the armchair in my master suite. just sitting there. approximately two feet from the closet where they belong. so after doing the laundry...put it away would be another goal.
• meal plan. (okay, this could go with grocery shopping.) until recently, i gave up drinking soda. it had been a good couple of months without the sweet dark brown syrup, but recently i'm back on the crack pipe. (that's probably not a totes appropriate way to say that...) i have to kick the habit. have you all seen those nutri-grain commercials? where they say one good choice can lead to more good choices (or something like that...)? well, they are right. because with my relapse to the dark stuff i have also picked up on other bad eating habits. candy, 24/7. i can actually feel my teeth rotting. SO gross. hopefully after going grocery shopping i can nail down some healthy choices for lunch, snack, dinner, desert and breakfast. hopefully.
• clean my guest bathroom. i realized this week i have a tub. who doesn't enjoy a good bubble bath, a glass of red wine and a good book?
• clean master suite. head to toe (or floor to ceiling).

don't i sound like a good domestic lady? i should add baking to the list. but i don't want to have too many goals. i like crossing things off my list too much to be an over achiever this weekend.

what are you doing this weekend, huh? hope its ab fab!

{funk}

i'm so sorry.

i have nothing to say.

i'm hoping my writer's block will go away soon.

until then....GO HAWKS!

brunette.

please forgive this horrible picture. but i knew you were all dying to know what i decided about my hair. it's officially brown. bonus: you can see my cheerful yellow wall behind me!

more tomorrow on all the fun i had this weekend. plus some other stuff. cheers!

to be blonde or not to be?

about every two months i decide that i want to dye my hair.  the problem?  i can never decide what color.

blonde?

or brunette?

(yes, that is peanut butter on my spoon!)

there are pluses and minuses to both.  i've been both.  i don't really think blondes have more fun.  and i don't really think that brunettes are more mysterious.  i do think either is better than the mousey blond i've inherited (no offense, ma!).

ahh, weekend!

it's friday afternoon & i'm ready to avoid working for the rest of the day.  somehow i charged through the morning and got SO much work done!  all that's left for the day is creating some logos for a friend & some hawkeye designs (speaking of which - 22 days until the season officially begins!).  i'm looking longingly out of the window wishing i was outside - although i hear it's unbearably hot & it's starting to get cloudy.  could it be more rain on the way?

i've been looking through my favorite blogs & getting caught up on what's going on in wedding world and design world.  each time i do, i get inspired and jealous.  some of these girls get PAID to blog about what they find on the internet - where do i sign up?

this weekend is very unusual for me - you see, i usually work two jobs on saturdays.  this saturday however, just one!  in a few weeks, it will always be just one because the studio is closing for our off season.  whooooo hooo!  so what will i do with my afternoon off?

i've been thinking about baking something delish for about two weeks.  so i'm going to get that done and officially break in my oven with some homemade delights!

after a very successful trip to chicago with my mom & seeester - officially finishing moving into my condo.  i'm creating an official ban on boxes on the floor in the living room because i have a shelf! {and, not to brag, but i also have a new coffee table that doesn't have a drop of nail polish on it!}

sunday i'm painting.  painting!  it's such a hard decision to choose what cheerful golden rod-y color to paint, but i must say that i am also jealous of whoever gets paid to name paint colors.

(p.s. it just started to downpour.  flash flood!)

also on my agenda: finding a dress to wear to the bff's rehearsal dinner; jewelry for the bff's wedding; finding a cheap kate spade planner via ebay; finding a roommate....so much for a quiet, relaxing weekend!

what are your plans for the weekend?

pretty, pretty, please!

i need this in my life.

{via}

i've spent most of the week alternating between my greatest music love - dashboard confessional - and country.  the two genres don't exactly go together, but i'm finding so much peace and comfort in them i just don't care.

for those of you that were worried about my insomniac problems - i think i'm over the hump and will begin to function at a normal frequency and schedule this week.  i will hopefully kick my whoppers/chips and salsa/popcorn diet and return to chicken, broccoli and assorted other healthy options.  my goal for this week is to make myself like cottage cheese.  we'll see.

it's a rainy day and that translates into a quiet, productive day at the studio.  i'm working on helping a friend brand her bakery business, hawkeye shirt designs and re-branding our ZW things.  hopefully i'll get a lot done and won't feel bad when i don't attempt coming to the office on monday.  i do, however, wish i was still at home cozy in my bed watching a movie and drinking hot chocolate.  my house is coming back from the crazy, messy house that it was and becoming a beautiful home again.  on the agenda for tomorrow?  laundry, a deep scrub to the whole house and family dinner.

with all the branding i've been working on, it of course makes my mind wander to my own brand.  when i left the new york stationery show i had a huge goal of taking my own line to the show this year - now that i know that would mean i would really turn into an insomniac during wedding season in order to get all of that together, which means i won't be pushing myself to get it done this year.  but it is my goal to launch the brand in the next three years.  i need to take the opportunities that i have here in the ic to go back to school and keep learning about paper & the joy of stationery at the center for the book.  i need to learn more about letterpress.  and i should probably take some business classes.

instead of focusing on my regrets of moving home & the people that i left behind, i need to remind myself why i did move here and how much happier i have been since doing so. i can't control anyone's destiny beyond my own.  yes, i do worry and care about the people down in mo - but they don't define me and i don't define them.  i can cry and pray for them, but ultimately they have to want to change for themselves - not the other way around.  as much as i want to shake people into reality and out of their pretend world they've created for themselves, i can't.

dashboard confessional is probably the only kind of music i can listen to all day and not get sick of because of the lyrics that relate to my life in some capacity everytime i turn them on.  last night, driving home from a wonderful evening downtown filled with good wine, good food and gelato this line struck a particular chord with me:

"all our fears fall on deaf ears tonight" - i couldn't have said it better myself.

in other news - look at these fabulous invitations! 

night 5.

so, i haven't been sleeping well. this time last week, i was in a schedule. bed at 10, up at 8. repeat. since sunday, i haven't been asleep earlier than 2 am...and still up by 8. and when i am sleeping, i wake up about once an hour. i look like i was punched in both eyes. i am craving sleep like i crave sushi. i don't think i've wanted anything more in my life. does anyone have any suggestions? i've tried tylenol pm. i took two last night without any luck. i'm starting to think if i don't get a full night (read: 6 p.m. to 10 a.m.) soon, i will need to put into a medically induced coma so my brain can function normally again.

obvi, i have a lot on my mind. it's always something. boys. money. puppies. roommates. the bachelorette. work. brides. babies. i really wish that my brain had an off switch. if it did, it would be in the off position for approximately ten weeks. that's how long i think i need before i feel like a real human again.

my insomnia isn't productive, either. in fact, it's counter productive. all i do is eat. and watch tv. my house looks like a boy lives in it. dishes everywhere. food on the counter. i am so embarrassed i can't even look at it. i come in, go to my room, put on sweats and somehow manage to get in the kitchen and out without looking at the growing mess. if only i could motivate myself to clean when i'm not sleeping. this place would sparkle.

the other problem is that all i can hear is crickets. we have a little bit of a cricket problem at work (read: infestation). and now, at home, all i hear is their constant chirping. it might put me in a loony bin. crickets might be the grossest, smelliest insect on the planet. i would much rather have ants (which is what i will have if i don't clean my house tomorrow).

all day today, all i could think about was my bed. now that i can go and snuggle under my beautiful covers with the ceiling fan on, all i do is lie awake. it is SO FRUSTRATING.

i need sleep.

ampersand.

what i can tell you about my wedding is that i want this to be there:

{via}

an ode to my favorite newlyweds.

last weekend, i travelled to columbia, missouri to see for the last time (in a long time) my favorite newlyweds before they move to georgia to begin their adult-married-people jobs. it was so nice of them to let me sleep on their couch, right next to their bed for two nights!

i have known deanna since the beginning of my freshman year (at mizzou). we quickly became best friends and pretty much inseparable. it was through her that i also met all of my best guy friends and learned how much you could love someone that wasn't your family (or your boyfriend). i can honestly say that deanna is one of my best friends and i hope that we remain as close as we've become forever.

okay, enough with the emotional stuff. not my style.

deanna & mike got married in april. it was a beautiful ceremony and a beautiful reception and all that jazz. when the two of them looked at each other you knew that it was meant to be and before we know it, they'll be old and wrinkly and still calling each other 'babe.' what i didn't expect last weekend was to see how married they are! it sounds funny to say that, especially since they have been married for two months and i saw them get married, but i guess i never thought that they would act married. here is what i mean:

alarm goes off at 7. mike gets up. starts coffee. deanna sleeps for maybe 15 minutes (i mean, i was asleep too, so this is just what i am making up right now). deanna goes and sits in chair, reading her homework assignment from ruf. mike delivers coffee to chair.

mid day: deanna makes cookies. mike does dishes (without complaining, gasp!). deanna wipes down counters. monica watches in amazement that people her age act like this.

dinner: deanna makes dinner. mike does dishes.

after dinner: watch movie.

this is their life! totally married & domestic.

before the chef and i started dating, i didn't want to get married. i had seen my parents go through a divorce, i had seen my friends parents go through divorce. i saw what happened to my family because of divorce (mom and kids super close, no longer having someone to call 'dad'). i didn't even want kids! i wanted to be the 'cool' aunt to all of my siblings/cousins/friends kids without the responsibility. i wanted to live in nyc, drink cosmos, and have fabulous shoes. no husbands or kids allowed in my penthouse.

about one and half to two years into dating, chef and i started talking about marriage. suddenly, i wanted to be a stay at home mom with two kids, a dog and a husband to take on as my responsibility. we planned many lives together (starting in san francisco, in the middle we lived in columbia/iowa, ending in colorado) and i got comfortable with the idea that i was going to end up as a mommy instead of an editor in chief.

obviously, the situation has changed and i'm back to planning a life on my own. it's tough out there, world! i find myself in moments of complete darkness and alone. i miss having someone to plan a life with that i weep. (that wasn't sarcasm, i have started to cry once a day. not looking for pity here, just telling my story!) i think the hardest part of the break up is realizing that the life i had planned for two years isn't going to happen with the person that i planned it with. i didn't expect to miss the planning (0kay, the person) so much that i can feel my heart aching.

i still want marriage. i still want to be a stay at home mom. it isn't a joke to me: that's what i want. (with a successful custom invitation/stationery design company on the side.) the life i planned at the beginning of college (read: nyc penthouse) doesn't sound as fun unless i have someone there to enjoy it with me.

when i was in columbia, i found it the most comforting that deanna's husband took time to talk with me about what happened with the chef. it's been a little messy. things have been said (by both) that can never be taken back that have changed our relationship forever. in one weekend, i lost my boyfriend and my best friend. but looking at my favorite newlyweds and talking with the husband side of the fam, i have hope that i'll get my little family someday. mike said that chef & i probably talked about getting married and having a family too much. he was right. it's like setting yourself up for failure & it makes heartbreak that much harder to recover from.

the fords, dancing on their first night as a married couple. photo courtesy of the fords' in law christian via facebook.

thank you, mike and deanna for inspiring to me to not give up my dream of being a stay at home with a husband and children as my only responsibility. i love you & wish you all the best in georgia! (i can't wait to come visit and sleep on the couch again!)

edit: in case anyone is worried - i am not sad and alone and depressed.  i think crying is totally healthy.  i am happy & hopefully about the future...i am still the optimistic, sarcastic, fabulous person i have always been!

ahh, summer

it's finally here!

i spent pretty much the entire weekend (when i wasn't working) at mom's house on the lounge chair next to the pool. it was great to read a book, lie there and sweat and become perfectly bronzed. of course, this also means flipping over - which i need to work on. if you look carefully i definitely have a tan line difference between my front and my back. oops!

last night my bff steph came to town for a little girl time. we ate pizza, drank champagne & ended up where k works (drinking more champagne and eating more pizza...). it was so much fun to cut loose for a night and spend the night gossiping with my girlfriend. i miss girl time, i realized, and i am vowing to get some more in this summer.

i also got asked on a date, i think. it's hard to tell since steph & k pretty much made him ask me for my number. but if he calls, i'll go. it's all about meeting people in my new little town!

i have a few summer goals:

- read, read, read

- start getting the condo to feel more like a home (there are still boxes in the living room for goodness sakes!)

- get a really great tan

when i was in nyc a few weeks ago we went to my new favorite store anthropologie. i had been there before, but i think that owning a place to decorate made me fall that much more in love with it. i would like my whole home to be a combo of anthro and crate and barrel. think this:

combined with this:

that's what i'm thinking for the home office. let me know your thoughts!

the most important things to get are shelves for the living room and my bedroom. and a tv for my bedroom (but thankfully, i know a family that has a couple in their living room). i am hoping that i can paint this summer too. this living room definitely needs a little color!

there are no words

once i finish (read: start) cleaning my place up nice and purdy, you my readers will get to see:

• pictures of the pad, with wall decor & a couch!
• pictures of what i want to put in the pad, eventually.
• pictures of nyc: the sibling vacay.

so i promise, by june 1st all of this will occur.

i'm not depressed, really

i thought i should let you all know that i am NOT depressed. the last post was just some emotion...i am really fine (for the most part). i am human and have moments of sadness where i wish i could make everything go back to 'normal' or what was 'normal' a month or two ago, but i know it will pass.

so, time to focus on the future. medical student, dental student, law student. this is my mantra for the summer.

"when they don't love you anymore, they don't love you anymore. and they move on, and they move on fast." - nyc housewives on bravo on break-ups

my house is coming together! i have internet & cable & kaeli has moved in! look for a post in the morning with more pictures with (gasp!) a couch.

hopefully someday (soon) a med student, dental student or law student will come sit on the couch with me...

the break-up

it's funny when you tell someone that you and a significant other just broke up. some things always happen: a look of disbelief/shock followed by the question "are you okay", they offer up their son/grandson/cousin to you with the promise that they are looking for a relationship, cute and don't want 'just a fling', tell you all the things that they didn't like about the significant other or say something along the lines of 'finally! i thought we would never get rid of them!'

i guess all of those things are normal and good reactions to news that no one knows how to react to. even the person going through the break up is a little confused, shocked and in disbelief.

if you told me 6 months ago, i would be sitting in my brand new condo feeling a little sorry for myself, listening to sad music and alone i would have reacted in one of the afore mentioned ways. probably laughing the whole time. 6 months ago i was planning summer trips to chicago & wineries. talking about getting a dog. talking about moving in. seriously thinking about the 5 c's of diamonds.

it's all so bizarre.

when he & i broke up, we promised we would still be friends. easier said than done because now even though i want to call him & tell him about the crazy bride i just worked with or some juicy gossip i can't. because of the evil-ness that is facebook and it's newsfeed. because i can't stop thinking about the girl he is probably hanging out with that isn't me.

i can't stop thinking about his future, never thinking about my own instead. i'm more worried about him accomplishing his dreams than focusing on my own. i want to scream at him for making choices that i know he wouldn't be making if i was there.

it's always easier for me to choose sarcasm than to be honest about the way that i feel. the truth? i am doing fine. i know i made the right decision. i don't regret it at all. but i still wish that it didn't have to end the way it did.

maybe we promised each other too much. maybe we didn't give each other enough of a chance to grow. maybe we didn't fight hard enough at the end. maybe we shouldn't have joked about dating the next person five seconds after deciding it was over.

there are too many maybes in this world.

i know, i promised pictures.

they will come, i promise!

i'm currently stealing the internet when i can - which hasn't been often. i will post them when i can really use the internet without it cutting out in the middle of an upload!

(and family, your change of address cards will go in the mail on tuesday. i know, a week late! if you should need my address for any reason, feel free to email me!)

home sweet condo

hello everyone!

i feel like every time i blog i end up apologizing for not blogging; and today is no different - it has really been a crazy time for me!

since we last chatted, i finally checked into my hotel room in columbia and had a fabulous weekend celebrating the love shared between my good friends deanna & mike. it's officially, they can now be referred to as mr. and mrs. ford! it was a fabulous weekend.

during said weekend the chef and i also broke up (not so fabulous). it was completely mutual & natural. no one said anything horrible and we left 'hugging it out' as friends. hopefully when i make the journey down to columbia before mr. and mrs. ford move down to georgia and see my other good girlfriends down south we can meet up for a drink and catch up on life. we had a pretty wonderful three years (three and a half, actually, from the first date) together and i am so thankful and blessed that he was such a large part of my life.

let's not dwell on the downer of my life at the moment. since coming home from the weekend of love, i spent the two weeks in between preparing for the big move. (read: thursday night before the move i put everything i could fit into tubs and called it good.) but mentally, i was preparing everyday! i also have been working my butt off on work. but you already knew that!

i was going to post pictures of my condo on here, but i've decided to wait until my couch gets delivered on tuesday so things feel a little less empty. (i have posted some pictures on my facebook account if anyone wants to check those out!) let's just say that i love it! i owe a HUGE thank you to the gparents, tom, ben and my mom for helping me these past couple of days. i feel like i am settling in and i am so excited for kaeli to move in on friday!

because i haven't set up cable yet, i've been enjoying online tv & redbox movies. i think i could be going a little stircrazy since there is NO one here to talk to, but mostly i am relishing in the fact that i bought my own house and i can do whatever i want in it and to it! i keep find myself thinking of paint colors, looking at furniture and dreaming of the end result (read: in five years) when i can afford it all. i am so happy that i made the decision to buy and feel completely at home already!

my neighborhood is pretty cute. everyone has a dog! (i definitely have dog envy and have started research on dogs that weigh 55 pounds or under.) and there are a few small kids that i see running around in the patch of grass between the buildings (i definitely don't have kid envy). north liberty is definitely a growing, young community and i am excited to explore it this summer. hopefully i can meet some fun people to start having dinner parties with!

tonight my game plan is to get some work done, watch everybody (or thing) is fine with robert dinero and drew barrymore, paint my nails, and make a to-do list for tomorrow. sounds pretty fun, huh? i also want to take another looksy through the jcrew catalog before i recycle it tomorrow. everything in there is so pretty. one day i hope i can afford a $50 tee-shirt. just kidding. kind of.

oh! i forgot that my first non-family visitors came to the house today! steph & sean (soon to be mr. and mrs. wolterman) stopped through ic and came to my house! it was so fun to have visitors, but hopefully next time things will be a little more...put together. after their tour we went to dinner at the airliner - delish. it made me miss undergrad, mostly. everyone looked so stressed out about finals!

until tuesday...

monica faye

stranded at panera

i am currently writing from panera in columbia because i had no place else to go.

let me start at the beginning.

yesterday, i made the trek to columbia to see my good friends get married this weekend. it was a long, beautiful drive. i don't think i've ever really paid attention to the scenery when i made the drives before. i saw so many interesting things - lots of stray cats and a chicken walking down the middle of the road. no joke! a chicken.

anyway, i made the trek without stopping. i think it was also the first time i've done that! i'm very paranoid about running out of gas (it stems from my childhood - let's just say we almost ran out of gas in the mountains of tucson. there were coyotes.) it was pretty exhilarating flying past the last 'good' gas station (and by flying i mean going the speed limit, of course) and letting whatever happens happen.

so i made it and went straight to my friend jessi's apartment where we immediately started drinking wine. i hadn't seen jessi since moving back to iowa in october, so we had a lot to catch up on! it was so nice to see her and spend some quality time with her! after we each had two glasses of wine, we went to meet my friends jeremy & v for dinner at the local brewery - my fav- flatbranch. it was so nice to drink green chile beer! fresh green chile beer!

(this story so far sounds like i'm an alcoholic, which i'm not, promise. i just like wine and green chile beer.)

it was a nice night out. we had a lot of fun, laughed a lot and fell in love with a mizzou wrestler. well, at least jeremy did. and at the end, jessi and i took stripes home. which was the best part. because stripes is technically for undergrads who are underage, i think. i think that's why they invented it.

the point of this story is coming, i swear.

i left jessi's this morning around 8:30 with the grand plan of going to my swanky hotel room and going back to bed. taking a shower. working out. working on my design jobs. and then going to meet jeremy & v for lunch. coming back. taking a nap. get ready for rehearsal dinner.

it sounded like the best plan ever!

let me tell you what happened instead.

the hotel was full last night. no room at the inn!

well, i'm so tired that i almost started crying. "i have crap to do! my phone is dead! i need to take a shower!" was what i wanted to yell at the smug man telling me that i couldn't check in yet.

i calmly asked what time i could come back, in his opinion.

"probably three o'clock."

"well, that is not going to work!" the voice inside my head was screaming. "okay, great, thanks!" i calmly said (out loud).

and that's why i'm here at panera. for the day, it seems like. it was the only place i could think of that would let me sit for an hour or two (i hope i don't get kicked out) and work, charge my phone, etc. until i can meet jeremy for lunch.

after lunch, i don't know what i'll do. go to target? not having any room at the end sounds like a really good reason to go to target.

the biggest problem is that this leaves me with no time for a nap.

i am just thankful that i decided to bring work with me. at least it gives me something to do!

i think after target i will call the hotel and see if there is room at the inn yet. and if there isn't....

the other problem is that i REALLY need to take a shower and get ready for the rehearsal dinner.

(on a side note, panera in columbia is apparently where the affluent people bring their kids to play.)

i hope your days go better than mine (so far!).

zephyr weddings!

as you may or may not know, i work for the amazing zephyr weddings!

i am now blogging for them as well & you can see photos of our work on the latest post!

if you could take a moment out of your busy schedules and take the time to vote for us on the kcrg a-list awards, that would also be awesome!

it only takes a moment!

i am full of links today.  look @ this adorable road-trip engagement session as seen on snippet & ink!

i've set a new goal for myself.  what, you ask, could that be?  tune in a little later to find out (i know, the suspense could kill you!).

- happy thursday!

vote me for worst blogger of the year!

it's been a while.

i'm sorry. i didn't intend for this to happen. so much for that new years resolution!

here's what you missed.

1. i bought a house.
2. i bought a house.
3. i bought a house.
4. i went to visit columbia.
5. i bought a house.
6. i bought a house.
7. i booked plane tickets to visit brother & sister-in-love in NYC. and go to the new york stationery show.
8. i bought a house.
9. i bought a house.
10. chef decided to go to grad school & got into culinary school.
11. i bought a house.
12. i bought a house.

that is basically what has happened since i last told you about life. pretty dull, huh?

let's talk about the house first - it isn't really a house. it's a cozy little two bedroom, two bathroom apartment about 15 minutes away from work & my mom's house. the kitchen is green, the master bedroom is purple and there is a brand new water heater. i move in a month. yikes! i am so excited, nervous, nauseous and overwhelmed when i think about it. but mostly, excited. little sister will live with me this summer (that should be an experience, both good and bad) and then i need a roommate in the fall.

now, let's talk about....NYC! i am so excited to go and visit brother & sister-in-love. i can't wait to see their apartment in brooklyn, the today show, eat at a french fry place that i've heard so much about! i think i am most excited that it will just be me, brother and little sister for the first time! such a good bonding experience.

while i am there i will go to the NYSS. i can't wait. i can't wait to breathe in the paper, look at the new designs, talk with industry professionals and network, network, network!

last weekend i went and visited the great columbia, missouri for chef's birthday and to see friends i haven't seen since i moved home in october(!). it was a fun, exhausting and not relaxing weekend. while i was there, chef and i ate at one of our favorite sushi restaurants, sake, and talked about how much our lives have changed since i left columbia. and i talked him into going to grad school.

as long as he gets his ducks in a row, he will start in the fall and be a TA for one of the cooking classes that mizzou offers. he is pretty excited! (i know what you are thinking & yes, he is still going to culinary school...eventually.) his mentor, teacher and friend chef jett asked that he stay in columbia to assist him, offered to pay j&w to hold chef's spot for two years and pay for his first semester of school if the university wouldn't. and chef will be making $$ for this too. all in all, it's a great opportunity that he couldn't pass up.

so - three more years of long distance, if that's the way the coin flips. we haven't talked about it yet (mostly because that is a heavy subject) but i know that we will have to. this change of plans is going to drastically change our relationship (and no, i don't know what that means yet - except that for three years i'll be a spinster in iowa city!).

other than that - work is good. the weather is turning beautiful (finally). my best friend is getting married in three weeks. i'm currently babysitting two adorable babies and realizing i have not yet acquired the kind of patience it takes to be a full-time mommy.

i hope that i can get back on track with this blog. i miss writing a lot some days. pictures soon of the new pad!

{today i love....the help}

right after the vikings final game (post season) my mother was told to read the book the help by kathryn sockett by one of the contractors sisters (or sisters-in-law, he has too many and i don't keep track). she read it in approximately five days and then passed the book on to me, saying that i had to read it. the problem was that i was (and still am) in the middle of the guernsey literary and potato peel society by mary ann shaffer and annie barrows so i told her i would put in on the stack of books i want to read.

last week, i decided i needed a break from the literary society and moved on to the help. i am so glad that i did. what i found was a novel that sucked me in after five paragraphs. it felt so good to read again and to have a book take hold of me, the way books did all throughout my childhood. i had forgotten the power of a book rather than a television show & slowly fell in love again.

the help is a novel written about the civil rights movement and african american maids working in the south. it follows two maids and a white young woman (around my age) and their story. that's all that i am going to say, because let me tell you, its is much more fun to read the book than have someone tell you all about it. this book is a page turner, and i found my eyes burning in the middle of the night so that i could read the next chapter.

this past weekend, my mom recommended the book to my grandma, another book lover. she had already ordered it on amazon and was looking forward to starting it for her book club. let me tell you, you need to read this book.

i even skipped watching the olympics last night to read it! it's that good!

{in other news, i babysat two beautiful babies today and am relishing the smell of baby that is still lingering on my clothes. the world just seems perfect & peaceful when there is a three-month old sleeping in your arms, don't you think?}

olympics.

Well, I'm a day late. Hopefully not a dollar short.

It's day 5 of the Olympics - oh boy! I am having such fun watching the sports that I only watch every four years (like luge).

That's a good starting point. Like most of the people watching the Olympics this year, my heart and thoughts go out to the Georgian Olympian's family. I can't imagine the kind of pain they are in and I cannot fathom what they are going through. It seems so strange (ok, maybe not the best word) that something this devastating can happen in such a quick minute. I am sure none of us can put into words how we feel about what happened last Friday - except one. Shocked.

But, I don't want to focus on the sad parts. Let's move on to the five good thoughts of the past five days:

1. Canada's first home-gold medal! That was an incredible thing to see and couldn't help but to cheer for Canada over the US in that event. The story behind that athlete is so inspiring as well...I am so happy for Canada.

2. Pairs skating. Tonight, while watching the men's short program, my family and I discussed how much more falling there seems to be in this sport than years previous. Does anyone else feel that way?

3. Speed skating - hooray for collisions! Not really - I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Your Olympic dreams being squashed in .5 seconds. More devastation. But hooray for Apollo! More congratulations will be given to him for sure.

4. Nordic combined - that may have been the most exciting part of the entire Olympics. I can't believe how hard those athletes train! My thighs were burning just watching!

5. Women's moguls - let's just say: how can you go that fast? So fun to watch. And yay for the USA!

I don't think we can not talk about the Opening Ceremonies. Now remember, this is my opinion - but could that have been any more boring?! I couldn't keep myself focused on what was happening. The most exciting part was when the technology malfunctioned! How horrible.

Those are my thoughts so far - how about you?

I deserve an award

For being the WORST blogger EVER.

i promised a post over a week ago and you have gotten nothing.

i am so sorry, loyal reader family.

here's what's been happenin':

1. i still can't divulge much about my top-secret meeting. hopefully soon! (it's very exciting and top secret!)

2. i started physical therapy! so exciting. hopefully my knee will get better. i go three times a week and a very nice lady talks to be about a lot of things while she makes me do really exciting stretches followed by a nice soft tissue massage from my left knee up followed by a little electric shock therapy. WHOO!

3. my grandpa (my hero and favorite) came to visit and celebrated his birthday with us! my mom made the most amazing oatmeal cake with the most delicious cream cheese frosting. plus whitey's. you can't be from iowa and not love whitey's. heavenly. it was so fun to share his birthday with him, and unique to be the only grandchild!

4. i have been work a lot. i have a lot of brides. and i stare at the computer all day long...which doesn't really make me want to stare at it when i get home...

5. i am slowly losing the ability to sleep in. a true sign that grown-up hood has started. although 8 am seems like sleeping in to my mother and thomas, it is a lot different to me on a saturday. i much prefer the earlier morning, however. i am starting to enjoy breakfast (my fav: special k with craisins or some delish oatmeal) and like not rushing to get to work. i am hoping that since i keep waking up earlier, i'll have time to update in the mornings.

another nice thing about waking up earlier is that i don't have to watch the dumb part of the today show (no offense, matt!). i just can't believe that they spend so much time talking about crap - i mean really, how often do we need to hear about tiger woods sex addiction? i was over it the day after the crash. and jon & kate? although i loved the show and those kids were cute, let them fight privately. those kids are going to grow up and hate their parents even more than they would have (no offense, parents).

6. i've been think a lot about my 25 things to do by the time i'm 33 list. i'm still not done - i'll share when it is perfect!

7. i have spent a lot of time looking at these kind of websites: here there everywhere

8. my wonderful aunt and uncle were in town last night. we went out for dinner out blackstone and i had one of the most delicious club sandwiches that i've ever had. it was...out of control. turkey, ham, swiss, american, mayo, bbq...melty, saucy goodness. just thinking about it i could eat more. also, i think blackstone may have the best fries in town. i'm thinking this thought may cause me to eat a lot of french fries to compare them too...

9. it is valentine's day. i don't really know what this has to do with anything. but, so it goes. the best part about valentine's day is that the amazing race will start! yay, i love that show. i don't know if i could ever go on it - but it is so fun to watch!

i have a confession to make, readers. i am really enjoying watching the bachelor this season. i took a break from it for....all of college...but it is fun to watch! so much wonderful drama packed into two hours!

i am also really, really liking this season of grey's anatomy. i just think that it may be returning to its original roots. last season it just go to weird. izzy was seeing dead people - that almost ruined it for me forever. but this season...i could go on forever. next week, i'll dedicate thursday's post to grey's. now i've made a dedication that i can't change.

as i type this, i am watching apollo ohno and jr (or cr?) compete. what an incredible sport speed skating is! i'll obviously have to do an olympic post this week as well. so much to talk about: the sadness that the games started with, the oh-so-boring opening ceremony...who knows what else will happen between now and monday!

i am looking forward to the week ahead! monday at the shop we are taking photos of our work to update or website! i can't wait to see how they will turn out! and then next weekend we will go and visit my lovely little sister to celebrate her 20th birthday. ha! all of us are in our twenties! i am also going to promise pictures of this wonderful, life altering event!

come back monday for a review of the olympics thus far. i know that my grandma has her nice, gorgeous tv that she loves so much turned to nbc (and its other stations). grandma, aren't you glad that i picked that out? just kidding, of course.

toothless. and excited.

well, yesterday i enjoyed the long overdue task of getting my wisdom teeth out. yesterday was fine, i could talk & eat and thought things would only get better. today, i'm in a lot of pain and wishing i could just sleep all day. (which i truly have.) in between my naps i watch tv and check the always exciting internet...and try not to think about work. i thought i would be able to get some things accomplished, but haven't which will make for a very busy tomorrow.

in between my medication-induced naps, my mind wanders to home decor. it is inevitable that i will soon have my own space to decorate and fill and i find myself going to online shops like pottery barn, ikea and crate&barrel rather than my usual j. crew, gap and nordstroms for an online shopping fix. the idea of buying myself a beautiful desk, wall decor, bookshelves and a couch is SO exciting is & is definitely putting my desire for shoes, clothes and handbags (gasp!) on hold. saving for something that is a little more long term is making my shopping addiction come to a halt & i think remembering buying my first 'grown-up' bed will mean a little more than a new kate spade. (i never thought i would hear those words come out of my mouth!)

last weekend the chef came to visit. it was so nice to spend the time with him. long-distance is by no means easy, but i do think it is making our relationship stronger. it's forcing us to talk about what we each want out of the relationship, both long-term and short-term. i am so excited for him - he has grown up a lot since he graduated in december! trust me, i am excited about this. we were talking a lot about what we want - and both decided that he needs to go to school in august. now the question is where. denver is his number one choice, but he is also open to some other options (some a little closer like chicago or minneapolis & some farther like charlotte). this new chapter will be very exciting for him...i can't wait to see what it brings.

during his visit, he also told me about he & his closet friends making a list of 25 things that they want to do before they turn 33 (or in ten years). it has inspired me to make my own list, which i am working on and will share with you toward the end of the week.

i also got to visit my beautiful baby sister at school. her new dorm room is great. i am so proud of her and seeing how much she has loved school so far!

here is what the rest of my week looks like:

tomorrow: physical therapy. hooray, my knee may actually start to heal! back to work to catch up on the 20+ emails i've gotten since leaving the shop on saturday.

thursday: a secret meeting, details to come following.

friday: work, work, work. i am sure that the rest of this week will mean long hours. it's good for me though. i am so blessed & thankful to have my job that i don't mind.

saturday: consultations @ the studio. (which, by the way looks totally different. pictures to come on our blog this week!) followed by going to look at future grown-up places to live.

whew! i'm already tired just thinking about it. another post on thursday, my loves!

the ampersand

at work each day i stare at the computer & pick out fonts for one of the most important days in a person's life: their wedding. i truly believe that a font can make or break an invitation & that is why it is SO hard for me to choose! i could truly stare at font sites all day (seriously, if you need to get me a present go to veer.com and find something pretty!) and that is why i am so excited to have found this blog today.

a blog completely devoted to the ampersand, one of my favorite keys on the keyboard and something i love to use as a design element.

i promise more of an update soon. can you believe that january is almost over?

goodbye negativity - hello optimism (thoughts on 2010)

dear readers,

i know that the following post is long overdue. i am SO sorry. it's has been a crazy week and i'm trying to get back into the routine of day to day after taking some time away from things over the holidays.

thanks for your understanding!

---

last thursday i spent the day at work, followed by an evening at home with my family. i think we watched a movie, but it seems like an eternity ago. also, kaeli and i split a bottle of pink champagne. it was an excellent way to spend the new year. like most people in the world, i also spent the time thinking about the year gone by and thinking about hopes and goals for the coming year. and so, in true monica faye fashion, i present you with - some lists.

reflections of the year gone by:

• the best thing that happened: i graduated from the university of missouri. all though that weekend was slightly traumatic for the family, i am so thankful that i had the people i care about the most around me that weekend. it was and still feels like a huge accomplishment, and i am so grateful to have had the opportunity to go to college for four years. a little known fact: i really graduated in 3.5 years because my first semester wasn't worth much.
• i decided to move back home. although that was probably the hardest decision that i've had to make so far, i couldn't be happier. i found a job, my relationship with the chef has grown immensely, i get to see my wonderful grandparents on a regular basis and i'm closer to my sister. although it has been hard: i am happier than i was four months ago.
• i let other people bring me down - i surrounded myself with people who weren't supportive of me or my desires. yes, when i was one-on-one with these people, they would act in my support. what was most hurtful was learning after the fact that they had gone to others and spoken negatively. that negative energy brought me down to their level, something that i hope won't happen again. life is too good to complain about all the time. i hope that those people get to a better place in their life so that they can realize how their behavior has hurt others.

resolutions (hopes/goals is probably a better way of saying it):

• work out. i'm already failing at this, kind of. i have begun taking a regular yoga class and really enjoy it. i am hoping to take more in the future (including hot yoga! fancy!). but i would like to add to my weekly regimen. thank goodness mom's around so that we can push each other (although, this week i haven't been much of a motivator).
• stop drinking pop, except on special occasions (like the rare time chef and i go to a movie).
• start my own business.
• MOVE OUT of the parents. (see update section of this post for more details.)
• grow in my relationship with the chef. this year will be a challenge - in 6 months he's moving away to colorado to fulfill his dreams & i couldn't be happier for him. i'm just recognizing head on that it's going to be a challenge. not that i don't think we can make it. you have to push through the pain!
• stay in touch with old friends better. it's not so hard to shoot an email once a week or chat on the phone over the weekend. i can do it...
• READ. i need to get a library card again...
• COOK, bake, etc.

life updates:

• today, i went and looked at two apartments. neither was what i really want, both were what i can afford. however, i am hoping that something better will come along and my goal (from above) is to move out by march.
• work is good. wedding season is upon us and i'm hoping that things will be very busy to make life more interesting.

and, my special resolution to you, readers is to update this at least every other day with stories, thoughts and hopefully a lot about the future of the business: little details.

i hope you all had a wonderful holiday & an even better new year!